by Pamela Jett, CSP

I read in today’s edition of the Harvard Business Review’s on-line management tip of the day that it is vitally important for leaders and managers to let employees make mistakes.  I would agree.  It is often wise to step-in and correct an employee before a mistake is made, especially if it will be a large or costly error.  However, it is also often wise to step back and allow an employee to make a mistake and then coach them on the back end on how to either fix it or do better in the future.

By allowing employees the freedom to learn from their mistakes, leaders are not only contributing to an employee’s sense of personal responsibility and success, they are also improving employee engagement.  It is a well known fact that people like their own ideas the most and will be committed and engaged in implementing solutions or ideas that they help create.

So how can a leader or manager use remarkable communication to coach an employee after a mistake has been made?  One way is to make sure you communicate in the positive, not the negative.  Sometimes as leaders we are so busy telling people what not to do that we forget to tell them what right looks like.  Monitor your use of the word “don’t” and make a concerted effort to “ditch the don’t” and communicate in the positive, not the negative.  Share with employees what you would like them to do next time.  Better yet, ask them what they think they ought to do next time.  You will enhance employee engagement by asking employees (or your children if you are being a leader at home) for their input.

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Help your employees, your children, your colleagues, and even yourself learn from mistakes.  Use remarkable communication to help them learn and you will see commitment and employee engagement soar!

How has communicating in the positive helped you?  Leave a comment and share your success story!

By Pamela Jett, CSP

I had a conversation recently with a good friend of mine who is parenting a fantastic 16 year old son.  He is a great kid, a stellar student, a gifted athlete, and well liked by his peers.  He does, however, pressure himself to be a “superstar” at everything and sometimes that self-imposed pressure creates nerves or jitters, especially on the basketball court.

In a well meaning attempt to ease the pressure her son has imposed on himself, my friend tries to remind him that “it is just a game.”  After she shared this with me, I asked her “are you open to some feedback?”  (Unsolicited advice is the worst kind, in my opinion.  So, I wanted her permission or “buy in” before sharing my thoughts.)  Here is the gist of what I shared with her.

The word “just” is a minimizer.  For example, “I’m just an administrative assistant”  sounds weak and self-demeaning.  Whereas “I’m an administrative assistant” sounds confident and capable.  I was concerned that by telling her amazing son that it is “just a game” she would be unwittingly sending a message to him that basketball isn’t very important, ought not to matter, and that she as a parent doesn’t place a lot of value on something that he clearly deems important.  For her son, such a message could be devastating.  She agreed and together we worked to craft a message that would still honor the importance basketball holds for him while not adding pressure to perform or succeed.

It’s “just” a word – right?  It’s just one small word that can completely change the tone of a message. Words matter and the words we choose to use and the words we choose to lose can make all the difference to our career (and our parenting) success.  I challenge you to monitor your use of the word “just.”  Use it sparingly.  Use it wisely.  Consider if using “just” adds to your credibility or detracts from it.  Ask yourself if using “just” might send a belitting or demeaning mesage (albeit unitention as in the case of my friend.)  Using “just” is a habit we can break.

If you have situations where you have found “just” to be a minimizer, please share them with me.  Post a comment, subscribe to this blog, and share with your friends and colleagues.