Posts Tagged ‘communication’

Hyperbole – It’s “Killing” Your Career

“This project is the worst ever!”

“I have a million things on my to do list.”

“This is taking a ton of time.”

“Learning this new software is killing me!”

“If this meeting doesn’t end soon, I’m going to die.”

Do any of these phrases sound familiar? Have you ever found yourself using them or something similar in the workplace? If so, you may be unwittingly damaging your credibility by using (too much) hyperbole.

amazed woman with big head over grey background

What is hyperbole?

Hyperbole is an extreme exaggeration used to make a point.  We often use it to add “color” or “flavor” to our communication.  “This software is older than dirt” is a colorful statement and it allows you to make your point with emphasis.  Teenagers are MASTERS of hyperbole in my experience.  At least I was.  “Mom, if I can’t have these (name brand) tennis shoes, I won’t be able to show my face at school… ever!” Or, “I’m so embarrassed…I could just die!” That is hyperbole.

Hyperbole and Credibility

Communicating in a vivid and engaging manner can add to the overall impact of your message.However, reliance on hyperbole can “kill” your credibility. Notice what I did there? Of course you did.  Does hyperbole really “kill” your credibility?  Of course not.  Can it negatively impact your credibility?  Of course it can.

Unfortunately, “negatively impact” isn’t as attention grabbing as “kill.” And, in the information age, when we are inundated with messages, it is tempting to use hyperbole to grab attention, to get heard above the noise.

People Hands Holding Red Word Trust MeHere is where the problem lies.  If everything in your business is “the best ever” or “the biggest opportunity of the year” or even “the most challenging” then how do you separate the genuinely “great” from the “good?” How do you emphasize something worthy of more time, effort and energy if everything is currently positioned in the extreme? If you regularly use hyperbole to make a point, how can people trust you?

Remember the boy who cried “wolf!”?  When the wolf really did appear, he wasn’t believed.  Same thing with your credibility. If you consistently paint everything as a “crisis” or “a disaster!” how will you gain the much needed focus and attention of your team when the genuine crisis occurs?  Chances are, you will have a more difficult time.

caution-tape1Words Matter – Watch Out for These

Sometimes hyperbole is a habit.  We are accustomed to using words that smack of hyperbole.  Here’s a quick list of words that are currently popular.  We often use them without thinking and we may be inadvertently be hurting our credibility.

  • Amazing
  • Awesome
  • Unbelievable
  • Totally
  • Nightmare
  • Ridiculous
  • Fabulous
  • Killing
  • Crushing

If you use these words sparingly, you will likely make an impact.  If you use them too much you will likely be seen as less professional, less serious, and less discerning.  You will be hurting your credibility.

Ask yourself, how am I using hyperbole?  Too much? What price might I be paying?

Professionals know that communicating in an engaging manner is important.  However, to sacrifice credibility for the sake of exaggeration is likely a career killing, totally ridiculous, nightmare choice.

Pamela Jett is a communication skills and leadership expert who knows that words matter! In her keynote presentations, workshops, books and online learning programs, she moves beyond communication theory into practical strategies that can be implemented immediately to create the kind of leadership, teamwork, and employee engagement results her clients want.

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Passive-Aggressive? Here’s Why

Why Are People Passive-Aggressive?-2Passive-aggressiveness, sometimes known as the “nice-nasty,” is communication (behavior) that is “nicety-nice” on the surface. However, the underlying message or intent is mean, rude, nasty, and/or manipulative.  Being on the receiving end of passive-aggressiveness can be frustrating, confounding, hurtful, and can even be the reason to end a relationship, quit a job, or even retaliate.

Passive-aggressiveness takes many forms.

  • Sarcasm
  • Ghosting
  • The Silent Treatment
  • Sabotage
  • Withholding (time, praise, intimacy, opportunity)
  • Backhanded Compliments
  • Hinting

And many, many more.  What these behaviors all have in common is that they allow people who aren’t comfortable being openly aggressive get what they want under the guise of still trying to please others or having “plausible deniability” if called on their behavior.  For example, if someone uses sarcasm and they are confronted by the recipient, they can claim “that’s not what I meant” or even resort to gaslighting (intentionally trying to make the other person doubt themselves or the validity of their perceptions and feelings) with something like “geez – you are too sensitive.”  The passive-aggressive person wants their way, but they also want everyone to still like them and/or not be held accountable for their aggressive behavior.

I am often asked after delivering keynote speeches or programs on communication “Pamela, why are people passive-aggressive?”  Some of the more obvious answers are:

  • They are often insecure.
  • They may have poor communication skills.  They don’t know how to be assertive. (Important note:  assertive and aggressive are very different.)
  • They may struggle with jealously (personal or professional.)
  • They may feel out of control or a need to gain (or regain) power.
  • They may have learned it “works” for them.
  • It allows them to stay in their “comfort zone” and avoid the accountability assertiveness requires.

In addition to these reasons, here are a few less widely talked about, and yet still prevalent reasons.

Anger is often socially unacceptable (especially for women) whereas sugarcoated anger can be socially acceptable. Many people have been taught to “play nice” or that to “be liked” is a top priority. Some people are so uncomfortable with conflict, confrontation and other negative interactions that they will attempt to “keep the peace at any cost.”  While they may feel anger, they are not comfortable expressing it directly for fear of social censure. When the anger gets sugarcoated, that social censure is typically less.

Assertiveness can be simultaneously empowering and terrifying. Passive-aggressiveness can be easier and feel safer than assertiveness.  Being assertive and asking for what you want or need by being direct and clear about your expectations can feel risky. What if your request is denied? What if the recipient of your request belittles your request? Or gets upset? By choosing passive-aggressiveness (indirect communication) individuals give themselves a more palatable explanation for another’s behavior.  For example, if you are frustrated by your colleague’s constant tardiness to meetings you run and you “drop hints” (passive-aggressive)  about their arrival time and despite the hints they continue to arrive late, you can tell yourself “perhaps I wasn’t clear” or “maybe they didn’t understand.”  However, if you opt for the assertive approach and directly (and politely)  tell your colleague that their being late to regularly scheduled meetings you run is frustrating and ask them to be on time (an assertive approach) they may choose not to be on time anyway. With this assertive approach, you can no longer tell yourself “perhaps they didn’t understand.” Now the remaining explanations are less palatable such as “my frustration must not really matter to them.” Sometimes these “less palatable” explanations can be hurtful. Hence why assertiveness can sometimes be terrifying.

Passive-aggressiveness can feel powerful. Because it is often manipulative and can be disconcerting to others, passive-aggressiveness can feel powerful. Passive-aggressiveness is also disrespectful to others. The passive-aggressive person is taking away the other person’s power. It can be a way for an insecure person to gain some of the power and control they feel they are lacking.  Assertiveness, on the other hand, is mutually respectful (power is shared.) The passive-aggresive person doesn’t want to share that power.

Passive-aggressiveness can be easily rationalized. The passive-aggressive person is very adept at justifying their behavior. It is their brain’s way of arguing for their comfort zone. Any twinges of remorse or regret are quickly squashed by an inner or story that negates the necessity for change or personal growth.

While we cannot stop the passive-aggressive person from being passive-aggressive, it is helpful to have a better understanding of what passive-aggressive is and why people use it. For tools and information about how to deal with passive-aggressive people, check out this on-demand webinar. And, if you are looking to build your own assertiveness skills, click here.

Pamela Jett is a communication skills and leadership expert who knows that words matter! In her keynote presentations, workshops, books and online learning programs, she moves beyond communication theory into practical strategies that can be implemented immediately to create the kind of leadership, teamwork, and employee engagement results her clients want.

 

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Stop Saying ” I’m Sorry” and Start Saying This Instead

by Pamela Jett, CSP

By now, yomedfr17018u’ve likely seen and heard the advice to “stop saying I’m sorry” in numerous blogs, seminars, books, and speeches by experts like myself.  In fact, I’ve even blogged about it myself before (if you want to read that blog click here.)  Many of us habitually say “I’m sorry.” Often for things we have no need to apologize for. It can be a habit. It can diminish our impact and credibility.  And, it can erode our path to success.

Most experts, myself included, will advise you to replace the “I’m sorry” with “I apologize.”  I apologize is more impactful, you are taken more seriously, and it keeps you from offering apologies where none are warranted.  This is a small change that can make a big difference.

There is another equally powerful replacement.  This replacement allows you build the other person up.  To compliment them on their admirable behavior instead of tearing yourself down or making yourself small.  The replacement for “I’m sorry” is to compliment or praise the other person.  For example:thank-you2

  • Instead of “I’m sorry I took so long to clear the meeting room” try “thanks for waiting so patiently as I cleared the room.”
  • Instead of “I’m sorry I was late” try “I appreciate your kindness in waiting for me.”
  • Instead of “I’m sorry to ask for you help” try “your willingness to help means a lot to me.”

Build the other person up.  Praise or thank them for their actions or response instead of tearing yourself down. While there are still plenty of times when an apology is warranted, often the best course of action is to praise the other party.

Pamela Jett is a communication skills and leadership expert who knows that words matter! In her keynote presentations, workshops, books and online learning programs, she moves beyond communication theory into practical strategies that can be implemented immediately to create the kind of leadership, teamwork, and employee engagement results her clients want.

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Increase Your Influence – Before the Meeting Even Starts!

Pamela Jett, CSP

Slide1Would you like to be taken more seriously by your leader?  Are you looking to enhance your influence and make a bigger impact on your organization’s goals and objectives?  Are you seeking to attain the attention, authority, and respect you have earned? Would you like others. especially your leaders, to see you as a motivated, engaged, and high-value team player who is ready to take on even more opportunities?

If so, meetings and other group conversations present a fabulous opportunity to shine.  Chances are, you are doing the basics:

  • You are well prepared.
  • You participate readily and with confidence.
  • You follow-up on your action items.
  • You are supportive and open-minded to the contributions of others.
  • You stay focused on the subject at hand and don’t engage in disruptive behaviors.

However, are you making the most of the opportunity to shine even before the meeting starts? Here are some powerful strategies to leverage.

  • Words to choose and words to lose. Stop using the phrase “I have to go to a meeting” and change it to “I get to go to a meeting.”  When you use the phase “have to” it makes it sound like it is something you don’t want to do.  It can give the impression that others choose for you and you are not empowered or in charge of your own choices.  It might even signal to some that you have a “victim mentality.”  When you make the small change and start to say “I get to” you send a message that you are excited and are glad to be part of the meeting.  You sound empowered, positive, and engaged.  This is a small change that can make a big difference in how you are perceived by others.  Be intentional in your word choice because words matter.
  • Get on the agenda.  Not every meeting or conversation has an agenda (although most meetings ought to if they want to be effective.)  When there is an agenda, maximize that opportunity.  If you have a proposal you want to make, a question you would like to pose, or solution to a problem, or any other meaningful contribution you want to make during the meeting, contact the person running that meeting and ask for some agenda time.  They may not give it to you. However, simply asking shows that you are engaged and ready to participate proactively.  This is especially important if the person running the meeting is your leader.  Don’t wait for them to assign you something.  Be proactive.  Ask yourself, “what meaningful contribution to this meeting can I make?”  And, ask for agenda time if appropriate.  Even if you opt not to ask for agenda time, asking yourself “what meaningful contribution can I make?” can help position you to participate in a meaningful and impactful ways. When I work with executives who are looking for their team members to enhance their communication skills, one of the #1 requests is “please help my team members take more initiative, take more ownership, be more proactive.”  Get on the agenda and you will be demonstrating leadership abilities and be seen as more proactive and engaged.
  • Arrive early.  There are many good reasons to be slightly early to every meeting.  You minimize the risk of arriving late due to be waylaid in the hallways.  You increase the chances of getting a good seat in the room. You will be seen as reliable, respectful, and engaged.  And, you can leverage those few minutes to your advantage.  Put away the cell phones (even if you are standing in the hall waiting for the conference room to be vacated by the previous occupants) and engage in conversation with others who have arrived.  Stop texting and introduce yourself to people you may not know.  Ask a colleague how a project is progressing.  Make small talk.  Look people in the eye.  Smile. Be friendly.  Be professional. Be present.  You will create a memorable impression by having short conversations with those around you. Building your professional network is important and meetings are a great place to do so.  Get to know people and you can easily do that in 5 minutes or so when you arrive early.

Meetings present a tremendous opportunity for you to shine.  Make the most of the opportunities you have to communicate in a confident, professional, and engaged fashion.

Pamela Jett is a communication skills and leadership expert who knows that words matter! In her keynote presentations, workshops, books and online learning programs, she moves beyond communication theory into practical strategies that can be implemented immediately to create the kind of leadership, teamwork, and employee engagement results her clients want.

 

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Leaders Unleash the Power of “Yes”

11107790 - voting concept: set of green yes signs isolated on white backgroundAs a leader, have you unleashed the power of yes with your team?  In particular, are you offering unequivocal “yeses” as often as possible? Every leader or manager knows that saying “yes” to an idea, proposal, or request can positively impact morale, engagement, and performance. The power of a “yes” is that it encourages more problem-solving, initiative, and proactivity in a team and among team members.  Unfortunately, many leaders are sabotaging or minimizing the impact of a “yes” by using phrases such as:

  • “Yes, this is good and we should also…” 
  • Yes, I like it.  But, could you also…”
  • “Yes and I would suggest that we…”
  • Yes, but first…”

While these forms of “yes” are still positive (and have their place in the language of leadership), they are also a form of yes with diluted or diminished impact.  When a leader adds a term or condition to their “yes” they are saying to the team or team member that the proposal or idea isn’t good enough to be implemented as it is. Or, at least not good enough yet.  Or, that it could be much better. This “qualified yes” can be disheartening and can decrease motivation and commitment.

Of course, there are times when the “qualified yes” is the smart choice.  As long as it is a choice and not a habit. If you constantly, habitually, or unintentionally qualify all of your positive responses, you may be missing out on the power of the “unequivocal yes.”

When I conduct programs for organizations and associations on leadership and communication, I often ask attendees what behaviors do their leaders engage in (or fail to engage in) that enhance employee engagement or decrease employee engagement. One of the consistent “engaging behaviors” is the “unequivocal yes.”  A “yes” with no conditions, no added value, no tweaks or adjustments.  A “yes” that says to the employee or team “I trust you.” These “yeses” sound like:

  • “Yes, go for it!”
  • “I like it.  Make it happen.”
  • “Great idea. Let’s do it.”

Think about it. Wouldn’t you feel great if your leader simply said “yes” to your next idea, proposal, or initiative? As a leader, ask yourself if you are using this simple engagement technique as often as you could.  Or, out of habit, do you qualify most, if not all, of your “yeses?” I encourage you to look for an immediate opportunity to give a “yes” without condition or constraint.  Unleash the power of the “unequivocal yes!”

Pamela Jett is a communication skills and leadership expert who knows that words matter! In her keynote presentations, workshops, books and online learning programs, she moves beyond communication theory into practical strategies that can be implemented immediately to create the kind of leadership, teamwork, and employee engagement results her clients want.

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Are You Sabotaging Your Business Presentations?

Slide1Delivering a presentation can be a pivotal career opportunity.  It is an opportunity to demonstrate your expertise and value to your organization.  It can improve visibility, providing exposure to key decision makers and influencers within and without your organization. It is an opportunity most professionals want to maximize. We want to do everything we can to increase our likelihood of success and to avoid those things that can sabotage our success.

In the over 20 years I’ve been a keynote speaker and communication skills expert, I have had the opportunity to conduct numerous presentation skills workshops for organizations around the globe. Here are four things that you might be doing with your presentations that might be sabotaging or limiting your success.  Take a moment to ask yourself, “Am I sabotaging my business presentations?”

  • Starting with creating your slide deck.  This is a mistake.  Slides are visual aids or visual support for the content of your presentation.  They are NOT the presentation.  Many professionals sit down to create a presentation and open up their slide creation software right away. They have NO IDEA what their main points will be. They have NO CONCEPT of the order in which to present those main points.  Expert presenters take the time to outline their presentation before creating slides.  They are then able to use the slides strategically as support for their content.
  • Only reviewing slides on your computer.  This can completely destroy your credibility during a presentation. Take the time to actually project your slides (preferably in the room in which you will be presenting.)  It is amazing how font size that looks perfectly reasonable when you view it from your computer screen is COMPLETELY UNREADABLE when people try to view it sitting around the boardroom table.  Color and contrast that looks reasonable on your computer can completely fail when projected.  Check your slides as they will be viewed, not just on your computer.
  • Confusing review with practice. This is a very common error.  Reviewing your presentation is great, but it doesn’t replace practice. Review happens when you sit at your desk and go over your slides and think about what you will say in your mind. Review happens when you go over your presentation in your head on your commute. Review is helpful. And, review is NOT practice. Practice is when you actually speak, out loud. When you stand up and deliver, out loud, the content you have created and reviewed. The best presenters try to practice in the room (or similar) to where they will be presenting.  Nothing replaces practice. It is during practice that you may realize your presentation is too long or too short. It is during practice that you might discover that some words and phrases that flow when written down are difficult to say out loud. It is during practice that you can become so familiar with your material that you can confidently present it when the time comes. There is no substitute for practice.
  • Reading from your slides. This sends a message that you are not prepared. That you are not an expert. That you don’t value your audience’s time. Practice and stop being slide-dependent.
  • Too much text on slides. Are your slides so text-heavy that they can’t be read?  Are your slides so jammed with content that nothing stands out? Remember, slides are not the presentation. Not everything you say needs to be on a slide. Slides are support for the presentation. More pictures, less text, is a good guideline.  If you MUST deliver lots of text, data, or information in your slides because your audience expects to have them as reference, consider having a “presentation deck” and a “reference deck.” You can give the audience the reference deck and present from the presentation deck.
  • Winging it. This is often the challenge of the over-confident.  Some professionals will be tasked with giving a “10 minute update” or some other short presentation and will think it is fine to simply wing it.  This is a poor choice. I’ve seen top level executives ramble or go on forever without a focus or a key message in front of several hundred of their employees.  This is the one of the pitfalls of thinking “I don’t need to really prepare – I know what I’m talking about.” Your audience can always tell if you are winging it and often feels like you have wasted their time. Professionals prepare, practice, and present with confidence.

Are you sabotaging your presentations? Do any of these issues resonate with you? What will you do differently in the future? Delivering presentations effectively is a skill that can be improved. Take the time to prepare and practice and you can present like a pro.

 

For valuable tips on leadership communication, register for one of these webinars.

Pamela Jett is a communication skills and leadership expert who knows that words matter! In her keynote presentations, workshops, books and online learning programs, she moves beyond communication theory into practical strategies that can be implemented immediately to create the kind of leadership, teamwork, and employee engagement results her clients want.

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3 Easy Phrases to Use in 2016 to Communicate More Effectively

2016It’s that time of year again.  The time we set goals, make resolutions, and promise ourselves to be better in various ways. We often set big, audacious, life-changing, career sky-rocketing plans in motion and then as “real life” kicks in, we often lose momentum or get sidetracked. What if there were a few easy things you could do in 2016 that would help you be a more effective leader and a more promotable and engaged team member? Good news!  There are.  Resolve to make these small and easy changes to your communication and begin to reap the rewards of higher employee engagement, better relationships, and stronger teamwork.

  • Stop “Kathy works for me” and start “Kathy works with me.”  As leaders, when we introduce someone on our team as working with us, it implies that we value and respect them. It can help team members feel “part of” the team and also implies that we, as leaders, don’t set ourselves above or apart from our team.  This is a small and easy change that can make a big difference.
  • Stop “are you busy?” and start “is now a good time to talk?”  As leaders and team members when we ask “are you busy?” we may unintentionally insult someone or trigger defensiveness.  The question may imply we don’t think they work hard or are doing anything important. This is, obviously, not the message we wish to send.  By asking “is now a good time to talk?” we imply that we are aware they are busy. It is a message of respect. And, we don’t risk anyone misinterpreting our intent and becoming offended or defensive. As an added bonus, it also is a message of empowerment because it implies that we, as leaders, are aware that those we lead are in charge of their own time and are not always at our beck and call.
  • Stop “does anyone have any questions?’ and start “what may I clarify?” If you are looking to increase engagement and participation in meetings or group discussions, changing “does anyone have any questions?” to “what may I clarify?” can make a big difference. The former is a closed-ended question while the latter is an open-ended question. Open-ended questions invite far more participation. Also, “what may I clarify?” puts the responsibility for any confusion or missed pieces on you, the speaker and leader, instead of shifting it to the listener or team members.  This is another small change that can result in better communication and results along with enhanced teamwork and engagement.

Becoming the best leader and communicator you can be can happen one easy change at a time.  Which will you resolve to focus on in 2016?

Pamela Jett is a communication skills and leadership expert who knows that words matter! In her keynote presentations, workshops, books and online learning programs, she moves beyond communication theory into practical strategies that can be implemented immediately to create the kind of leadership, teamwork, and employee engagement results her clients want.

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Is Confirmation Bias Hurting Your Leadership?

thumbs upIf you are looking to improve your communication skills and sharpen your leadership ability, then watch out for “confirmation bias.”

“Confirmation bias” is the normal human tendency to interpret information in a way that confirms one’s preconceptions. For example, if you have a preconceived notion that your solution is the best solution to a problem, you will tend to interpret data or information you receive as supportive of or in alignment with your preferred solution.

“Confirmation bias” can apply to how we view people as well. For example, if you, as a leader, have a preconceived notion that only people with certain educational backgrounds will thrive in certain positions, you will likely interpret data and information in a way that supports your preconceived notion. This can lead to limiting the growth opportunities of your team or failing to spot potential and nurture it.

Confirmation bias can impact all aspects of your leadership. Savvy professionals are aware that confirmation bias exists and strive to overcome it by asking themselves “is there another away to view this information?” or “could confirmation bias be at play here?” While asking these types of questions won’t eliminate confirmation bias in its entirety, checking your perceptions with these types of questions can minimize the impact confirmation bias can have on your success.

For more tools on how to leverage the power of perspective, check out these on-line learning programs

Pamela Jett is a communication skills and leadership expert who knows that words matter! In her keynote presentations, workshops, books and online learning programs, she moves beyond communication theory into practical strategies that can be implemented immediately to create the kind of leadership, teamwork, and employee engagement results her clients want.

You might also enjoy:

Boost Leadership and Communication Skills with the Power of Perspective

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Boost Leadership and Communication Skills with the Power of Perspective

by Pamela Jett
house

When we are looking to boost our communication skills  and leadership abilities, one of the best tools to leverage is the power of perspective. I have always enjoyed the adage:

When you change the way you look at things, what you look at changes.

Exceptional communicators and leaders know the perspective you take to a problem, or even a person who may be problematic in the moment, can radically alter their experience of the problem or person. To use a very common example, a professional who reframes a problem as growth opportunity often will be better at solving the problem.

But what about with a “problematic person?” How can a great high-caliber leader reframe their experience of them? One powerful tool is to remember:

Not everyone was raised at your house.

Not everyone has had the same experiences, same learning opportunities, the same mentorship and role models. The things you, as a leader, might assume are “common sense” aren’t always so common. Remembering that not everyone was raised at your house, remembering that not everyone you lead has the same knowledge base that you do, remembering that not everyone view the world (and work) the way you do can go a long way towards helping you reframe your experience of someone. As opposed to seeing them as “a scattered and disorganized person” you can view the as someone who needs time/project management training. As opposed to seeing them as someone who is “disrespectful” because they are chronically late, you may be able to view them as someone who needs your expectations of “timeliness” explained to them instead of assuming they know because it is “common sense.”

When you change the way you look at things, even the way you look at people, what you look at changes. By remembering that “not everyone was raised at your house” you can go a long way towards becoming a better leader, communicator, and team member.

For more tools on how to leverage the power of perspective, check out these on-line learning programs 

Pamela Jett is a communication skills and leadership expert who knows that words matter! In her keynote presentations, workshops, books and online learning programs, she moves beyond communication theory into practical strategies that can be implemented immediately to create the kind of leadership, teamwork, and employee engagement results her clients want.

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The Biggest Conflict Mistake You Don’t Know You’re Making

by Pamela Jett, CSP

Yelling cartoon

Has this ever happened to you? You are in the midst of a crucial conversation and the other person becomes very emotional or intense. They might even begin to yell or behave in a hostile fashion. Most people will the get drawn into a discussion of this inappropriate behavior.  The conversation may then continue along the lines of :

  • “Stop yelling at me.”
  • “I’m not yelling!”
  • “Yes, you are!”
  • “Well, you don’t listen!

The conversation, which may originally have been about a crucial business or personal issue, has now morphed into a “conversation about how you are having the conversation.”  This is known as meta-commuication, communication about communication.  And, while it has it’s place, it is a poor choice to meta-communicate right in the middle of conflict and confrontation.

The next time someone engages in an (inappropriate) emotional outburst during conflict, resist the temptation to start talking about how they are communicating and stay focused on the core issue as much as possible. This doesn’t mean to let others bully or to continue to be mean, rude and nasty. However, if you can use other assertive techniques first (like the feel, felt, found technique) instead of calling out their behavior, you stand a greater chance of reaching resolution on the core issue.

Avoid the biggest conflict mistake you perhaps didn’t know you were making. Avoid meta-communication in the midst of conflict and stick to the issue at hand.

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