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Communication and Goal Setting

by Pamela Jett, CSP

It’s that time of year again.  The time of year when we start to beat ourselves up because we may have given up on our New Year’s resolutions.   Research indicates that 80% of us will give up on our resolutions or goals within the month of January.  If you are one of the 80% who may have thrown in the towel, here are a few communication tips to get you back on track.

  • Monitor your self-talk. We all talk to ourselves and the vast majority of our self-talk tends to be negative.  We start to beat ourselves up because we have fallen off the “resolution bandwagon.”  The next time you start saying things to yourself  like “I really blew it” or “I should really be more self-disciplined” or even “I’m such a loser,” take a moment a moment to re-frame the internal conversation.  Replace the negative with things such as “I am re-committed” or “I am learning to have more self-discipline” or “I am human.”  When we can replace the negative self-talk with more positive, growth oriented communication to ourselves we are far more likely to stay the course, start again, or re-commit and thus increase our chances of success.
  • Replace “past” focused communication with “future” focused communication. If you are talking about the status of your goals and resolutions with others, resist the temptation to focus on what you didn’t do.  Avoid focusing on the past.  Avoid phrases such as “I didn’t exercise yesterday” or “I should have spoken up in yesterday’s meeting.”  Instead, commit out loud “I am headed to the gym this afternoon” or “I am asking to get on the meeting agenda next week.”  Stop focusing on the past and what you didn’t do or what you did wrong and instead keep your communication, both internal and external, future focused.
  • Press the “re-set” button. Go ahead, press it right now.  Stop saying to yourself, “I will start again Monday” or “next month.”  Go ahead and give yourself permission to start again immediately instead of waiting for some supposedly logical start point like tomorrow or the beginning of the week.  Recommit right now, this very instant.  Taking small strides towards your goals and objectives right now is far better than planning for a “big step” or change in the future.

We so often sabotage our success in many areas of our lives with our communication.  Use the power of positive, future focused communication both internally and externally to stay the course and achieve great things!  For more tools, tips, and communication techniques to help you achieve your goals and objectives, join my teleseminar “Beyond Goal Setting 101″ on Thursday January 19, 2012. Register here.

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Posted in Professional Development, Uncategorized, goal setting, life balance on January 17th, 2012 by pamela

Communicating Solutions that Garner Support

by communication skills expert Pamela Jett, CSP

We’ve all been given the advice to give our bring our leadership solutions, not problems.  And yet, it can sometimes be difficult to communicate those solutions in a polished, professional way.  Here is a simple 3 step process anyone can use at any level to communicate solutions in a powerful way.

1.  Situation – Succinctly and clearly describe the current situation or problem.  It’s not necessary to go into too much detail – a simple overview or a definitive statement will do.

2.  Solution - Describe your proposed solution to the situation.  Use powerful words such as “solution,” “plan,” or “answer” and again, keep it brief.

3.  Support – Ask a closing question designed to get their support such as “do I have your support on this?”

When we use this simple 3 step process, we are communicating with clarity, brevity, and impact.

Please post a comment and share this blog with others.  Pamela Jett is a communication skills expert who believes that “Words Matter.”  Find her on Facebook, follow her on Twitter, connect on Linked In and sign up for her “Brain Wrinkle” on this website.

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Posted in Difficult Conversations, Leadership, Professional Development, Uncategorized, communication on January 13th, 2012 by pamela

A Communication Reason to LOVE Chick Fil A

by Pamela Jett, CSP

Do you love Chick Fil A?  I do!  And, it’s not simply for their yummy food (milkshakes are to die for!)  It’s not only because of their clever cow marketing scheme.  And, while I admire an organization that puts principles before profit and stays closed on Sunday, it’s not that either.

I love Chick Fil A for all of the above and because their employees consistently model a remarkable communication technique.  Their employees understand that WORDS MATTER and they practice this awareness in their customer interactions.

Anytime you say “thank you” to one of the employees, their standard response is “my pleasure.” What a remarkable way to practice good customer service!  This response doesn’t de-value the appreciation like some other responses do.  Some people respond to a “thank you” with the following:

  • “It was no big deal” or “no biggie”
  • “It wasn’t a problem”
  • “It was nothing”

These responses de-value the appreciation.  Perhaps it wasn’t a “big deal” to us.  However, it may have been important, meaningful, or valuable to the other person and replying in this dismissive fashion de-values what they value.

The next time someone says “thank you” to you for any service rendered, be it big or small, consider taking a page from the people at Chick Fil A and respond with “you’re welcome” or even “my pleasure.”

I would love your thoughts on this blog post.  Please feel free to post a comment.

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Posted in Professional Development, Relationships, Uncategorized, communication on August 29th, 2011 by pamela

Survey Reveals – Communication Most Important

by Pamela Jett, CSP

I’ve long suspected the research would bear this truth out – good communication is one of, if not the, most important skills sets professionals can possess.  Now, the research results are in and it’s official!

I recently surveyed hundreds of professionals about the importance and power of communication.  Here are a few of the most interesting results:

  • 41% of respondents indicated that communication is the most important skill set in the workplace.
  • 50% of respondents indicated that communication is an extremely important skill set in the workplace.

When those in leadership positions were asked what type of communication skills they would most like to see their employees improve the top answers were:

  1. The ability to deal more effectively with difficult people
  2. The ability to handle conflict and confrontation
  3. The ability to communicate with emotional intelligence.

What are you doing to improve your communication skills in these areas?  Are you consistently looking for new tools and techniques for dealing with difficult people?  Are you working to gain more emotional intelligence so that that you can handle conflict and confrontation with tact and finesse?

Communication is the most important skill set we possess.  I invite you to work consistently to build your communication skills and reap the rewards in your professional life.

What do you think about the importance of communication?  Leave a comment on this blog and watch for more survey results coming soon.

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Posted in Difficult Conversations, Leadership, Professional Development, Uncategorized, anger management, communication on March 31st, 2011 by pamela

Beyond Goal Setting 101

by Pamela Jett CSP

It’s 2011 and many of us, myself included, have big plans for this year.  Goal setting or resolutions seem to be a hot topic every January.  If you were unable to attend my teleseminar “Beyond Goal Setting 101″ Here are three quick tips to increase the likelihood that you will achieve all that you set out to achieve in 2011.

1.  Use the word “by” when you are writing out your goals.  For example, “I am improving my communication by taking one communication course, teleseminar, or workshop each quarter” or “I am more promotable by volunteering to serve on two high profile committees at work this year.”  Using the word “by” to add action to your goals.

2.  Write you goals as “I am” statements.  This puts your goals or vision in the present tense.  The word “will” makes us think in the future.  I want to be behaving in a way that moves me towards my end result now.

3.  Post your goals or your vision where you can see them and read them regularly.  I use vision boards to help me keep focused and moving in the direction I’ve chosen.  I make one every year and hang it in my office, where I spend a lot of time.  Some years I will do a business and a personal board.  This year, I’ve combined the two.  I need the wall space for a white board.  That white board will serve a crucial role in helping me achieve something I’ve committed to on my vision board.   I like to make mine pretty.  Some people use pictures.  I often use pictures and words.  This year, I opted for words only.  You can make your vision board any way you like.  By posting it in a prominent place it can help you stay focused all year long.

These quick tips are just a few of the many I shared during my teleseminar “Beyond Goal Setting 101.”  If you want more information on up-coming teleseminars, you will find it here on my website.

Here’s to a joyous and prosperous 2011!

Pamela

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Posted in Professional Development, Uncategorized, communication, goal setting, life balance on January 10th, 2011 by pamela

Employee Retention and Communication

by Pamela Jett, CSP

According to Deloitte’s fourth annual Ethics & Workplace Survey, one-third of employed Americans plan to look for a new job when the economy gets better.  Yikes!   Since turnover is extraordinarily expensive, it is in the best interest of organizations to focus now on preventing this massive loss of talent and intellectual capital.  Why do people plan on leaving?  48 percent cite a loss of trust in their employer and 46 percent say that a lack of transparent communication from their company’s leadership are their reasons.

Here are a few simple steps that anyone at any level within an organization can take to improve trust and communication.

Keep people informed. It is a fact of organizational life that when people begin to suspect that “something is up” the rumor mill starts working overtime.  And, the scary part is that in absence of good or reliable information, people will simply start to make things up.  They speculate, they guess and pretty soon those speculations take on the power of truth.  A good leader (at any level of the organization) keeps people informed to the best of their ability.  Even if they, the leaders, don’t have all the answers, a great leader will communicate that they are aware the concern exists and they will share information as it becomes available.  Employees would much rather know that their leader doesn’t have all the answers than to suspect their leader is holding out on them.

Point out the impact of contributions. Help people feel like what they do matters by pointing out the impact or the difference they make on a regular basis.  Instead of simply praising someone for a job well done, offer the praise and let them know why what they did is valuable.  When employees know that what they do matters, when there is no mystery around the role they play and the value they add to the organization, they are more likely to stay even when other opportunities are on the horizon.

Communicate awareness of career development. Although in the current job market the temptation is to “protect” and “hoard” opportunities, a great leader knows that delegating and putting opportunities for career development in the path of others is a great way to stay valuable to an organization.  If you are in a leadership position, demonstrate your awareness of the career development needs and wants of others.  Do what you can to acknowledge and support that need.  Spread the “high-profile” assignments around instead of relying on one or two “go to” people all the time.  Communicating and demonstrating an awareness that people need opportunities to shine in organizations makes you a more trustworthy leader.

While people may currently be happy to have any job, turnover will happen and it will happen sooner than later.  Now is the time to put your remarkable communication skills to work so that you are the kind of leader or colleague others want to work with and for.    Not only will this help prevent good people from leaving in the future, it can make your current work environment more rewarding, it can improve employee engagement, and it can make you a better leader (regardless of your title or job description.)

Pamela Jett, CSP is a communication skills expert who believes that communication is the most important skill set any professional can develop.  As a a keynote speaker, workshop leader, and coach, she works with professionals worldwide to develop remarkable communication skills for remarkable results.  If you enjoyed this blog post, please share with others, leave a comment, tweet it, or post it to your social networks.  For more information about Pamela, click here.

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Posted in Employee Engagement, Employee Retention, Leadership, Professional Development, Uncategorized, communication on September 27th, 2010 by pamela

Communicate Expectations for Performance Improvement

by Pamela Jett, CSP

“What was she thinking?”

“Doesn’t he know that’s not how we do things around here?”

“He ought to know better.”

“I should not have to explain this to her.”

If you are a leader, you might often think these things in response to employee behavior.  Sometimes, it seems as if employees are intentionally engaging in behavior that seems lacking in good judgement or common sense.  It can be frustrating when employees seem to flaunt the unspoken behavioral norms or rules in organizations.  We think they ought to know better.

My advice to leaders who experience this frustration is to remember that:

Not Everyone Was Raised at Your House!

While some things may just seem to be simple commons sense to you, perhaps they were not raised with the same example of smart decision making as you were.  Things that seem obvious to you might not be so obvious to them because they haven’t had the same experiences as you.  Quite simply,  not everyone was raised at your house.

Given that “common sense” isn’t exactly common and that some people simply don’t follow the “cultural norms” or the “unspoken rules” within your organization, what can you as a leader do to help them improve an employee’s performance in these areas?

First, remember that not all people are as adept at reading social signals and picking up on norms as others.  They require clear communication of expectations even if you think “I really shouldn’t have to tell them this.” Or, “they ought to have figured this out by now.”

Second, provide clear communication about social norms or “unwritten rules.”  Do so in a positive fashion.  For example:

I want to keep you in the loop.  Most successful people in this organization choose to not discuss politics with their peers during work hours.

Or,

As your supervisor, I thought I would give you the inside scoop.  Even though our dress code is “business casual”, when executive leadership visits our site, most people opt to dress a bit more formal.

Or,

I wanted to give you a heads up.  Even though it is not spelled out in the employee handbook, sending lots of text messages are frowned upon in this organization.

Once you’ve clearly  and positively communicated your expectations or the “unwritten rules” it is then easier to coach people to success or to hold them accountable, even for the “unwritten rules.”

If you have ideas or suggestions on how to hold people accountable for the “unwritten rules” or “norms”, I would love your comments.

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Posted in Difficult Conversations, Leadership, Uncategorized, communication, criticism on June 15th, 2010 by pamela

FB Status – It’s Complicated

By Pamela Jett, CSP

I confess.  I spend time on Facebook.  I have found it a great place to connect with old friends.  In fact, just yesterday I connected with a college friend who now plays Big Mike on Chuck.  I’ve connected with friends from elementary school, old roommates, and even a few relatives I didn’t really know about!  I also love that Facebook allows me to see what my friends and colleagues are up to and to offer support and encouragement.  It’s great fun to look at photos, old and new (what’s up with the 80″s hairstyles???) and to see pictures of kids and spouses.

One thing that always makes me smile is the “relationship status”.  One of the options is “it’s complicated” and I was thinking the other day that all the status options ought to have “it’s complicated”. I’m single and I know that “it’s complicated.”  Married people will attest –  ”it’s complicated.”  In fact, all relationships, both personal and professional, are complicated.

The way we manage, maintain, and build our relationships is through communication.  Communication is really the “stuff” that relationships are made of.  Not only what we say, but what we do, how we spend our time, the people we associate with,  it all communicates something.  And frankly, communication isn’t always easy.  We say things we regret, we don’t phrase things right and others get offended, we say too much, we say too little, we say the right thing, but at the wrong time, we misunderstand one another – bottom line –  It’s complicated.

Why are relationships and communication so complicated?  Well, the answer is… you guessed it… it’s complicated!  However, one simple tool to help manage that complication is to remember that past experiences shape our perceptions of current experiences.  So, since everyone has had a different life history, the world really is a different place to different people.

Remembering that we all see the world differently doesn’t make communication easy, but it can help us to be more patient when miscommunication occurs.  It can aid us in choosing our words wisely because we know that people attach their own unique meaning to words and we want to take their experience (their reality) into account.  This knowledge can help us communicate more effectively because we understand where the other person is coming from, or at least that they are coming from a place somewhat different than we are.

Relationships and communication – it’s complicated.  By acknowledging that it’s complicated, we are better able to use communication, our most important tool, to build stronger and more meaningful relationships with friends, family, colleagues and management.

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Posted in Difficult Conversations, Relationships, Uncategorized, communication on March 11th, 2010 by pamela

Communicate and Minimize the Havoc of Interruptions

By Pamela Jett, CSP

Interruptions happen about seventy-three times a day!  They can eat up more than 2 hours of the work day.  And, the result is a cost to U.S. businesses of an estimated $588 billion a year.

How would you like you and your team to better manage interruptions so that they don™t take such a terrible toll every day?  During Pamela™s informative 60 minute teleseminar learn how to communicate more effectively and either prevent interruptions or minimize the negative impact of interruptions.

  • Discover the key role communication plays in keeping time wasting interruptions at bay.
  • Learn how to let others know that œnow is not a good time without appearing disinterested or uncooperative.
  • Master the œacknowledge and reschedule technique to stay on task while still being a team-player.
  • Enhance your ability to get things done by communicating effectively and manage interruptions with tact and finesse.


Pamela I want to let you know how much we here at the International Monetary Fund enjoyed your teleseminar.  Your presentation was crisp, clear and strong–a real inspiration for how we all need to be communicating! – Paula D., PhD

Learn how to manage interruptions with tact and finesse and watch your productivity soar!  Register for Pamela™s 60 minute teleseminar here (March 8, 2010 noon pacific time.)

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Posted in Professional Development, Uncategorized, communication, life balance on March 2nd, 2010 by pamela

Brussel Sprouts and Pride

by Pamela Jett, CSP

Some things are really very hard for me to swallow:  brussel sprouts, creamed corn, liver, and zucchini, to name a few.  However, the most difficult thing for me to swallow is my pride.  It is difficult, distasteful, and not very fun from my point of view.  And yet, I am aware that swallowing my pride is good for me, just like liver and zucchini.  10801While every leader is aware of how important it is to be humble (which means teachable), it is sometimes very difficult.

One simple way to swallow our pride as leaders is to ask others for their ideas as opposed to simply imposing our own agenda.  Research is very clear that when we ask others for their ideas and solutions, we increase employee engagement and often get better solutions to complex problems.  It isn’t always easy to ask others for their opinions, especially when time is tight or when we think we know the “right” answer.  It is, however, worth it.  Here are a few simple “pride-swallowing” questions to add to your leadership communication repertoire.

  • “What are your thoughts?”
  • “How do you think this might play out?”
  • “How would you approach this situation?”

Just like swallowing brussel sprouts, swallowing our pride can yield great bottom-line results.  And, as an added bonus, we become the kind of leader that employees like and respect.

Enjoy this post?  Please post a comment and share it with those in your professional network.

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Posted in Employee Engagement, Leadership, Relationships, Uncategorized, communication on March 1st, 2010 by pamela

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