by Pamela Jett, CSP

“What was she thinking?”

“Doesn’t he know that’s not how we do things around here?”

“He ought to know better.”

“I should not have to explain this to her.”

If you are a leader, you might often think these things in response to employee behavior.  Sometimes, it seems as if employees are intentionally engaging in behavior that seems lacking in good judgement or common sense.  It can be frustrating when employees seem to flaunt the unspoken behavioral norms or rules in organizations.  We think they ought to know better.

My advice to leaders who experience this frustration is to remember that:

Not Everyone Was Raised at Your House!

While some things may just seem to be simple commons sense to you, perhaps they were not raised with the same example of smart decision making as you were.  Things that seem obvious to you might not be so obvious to them because they haven’t had the same experiences as you.  Quite simply,  not everyone was raised at your house.

Given that “common sense” isn’t exactly common and that some people simply don’t follow the “cultural norms” or the “unspoken rules” within your organization, what can you as a leader do to help them improve an employee’s performance in these areas?

First, remember that not all people are as adept at reading social signals and picking up on norms as others.  They require clear communication of expectations even if you think “I really shouldn’t have to tell them this.” Or, “they ought to have figured this out by now.”

Second, provide clear communication about social norms or “unwritten rules.”  Do so in a positive fashion.  For example:

I want to keep you in the loop.  Most successful people in this organization choose to not discuss politics with their peers during work hours.

Or,

As your supervisor, I thought I would give you the inside scoop.  Even though our dress code is “business casual”, when executive leadership visits our site, most people opt to dress a bit more formal.

Or,

I wanted to give you a heads up.  Even though it is not spelled out in the employee handbook, sending lots of text messages are frowned upon in this organization.

Once you’ve clearly  and positively communicated your expectations or the “unwritten rules” it is then easier to coach people to success or to hold them accountable, even for the “unwritten rules.”

If you have ideas or suggestions on how to hold people accountable for the “unwritten rules” or “norms”, I would love your comments.